Let me tell you a secret: Mrs Kentishtowner knows how to bust a
move or two. In fact she once dreamt of being a dancer, and, even
in her more advanced years, is still capable of navigating her way
around a pole, or undertaking an impromptu dance routine of
mesmerizing complexity.
And on those
evenings when thoughts of life's transience takes its stranglehold
(nostalgia acquiring its own peculiar potency), she can sometimes
be found staring blank-eyed at her biggest inspiration: Sally
Bowles.
Which means that when the invite arrived to the launch of Proud
Camden Cabaret, she wiped away a tear and announced: 'I am quite
definitely a woman not without connections.'
But before you could question her confusing double negative she
had hurled a black tie across the landing and said that the cab was
waiting downstairs.
We entered what used to be the South Gallery (and more recently
Proud Kitchen), the revamped joint so glamorous it was as if they'd
replaced the regulars at Annie's Bar with extras from Eyes Wide
Shut. Blood red velvet curtains hung seductively, gold chandeliers
dangled, and laughing folk lounged about on art deco-style black
banquette seating.
Except, of course, we were seated at the Vulnerable Table right
by the stage. But thank goodness Mrs Kentishtowner's handsome young
nephew was on hand to focus the attention of wicked compere Vicious
Delicious (left), resplendent in a succession of sexy numbers - but
somewhat merciless in her pursuit of the young squire.
And so the evening flapped by, the atmosphere as bawdy as an
18th Century mollhouse (well, nearly). The crowd whooped and
cheered throughout, especially when a bearded drag king made an
advance at Kentish Town's First Lady - who then froze, her look of
horror heightened by an unflattering spotlight.
We should mention the food, too: some cracking pork belly, a
tender rare steak with dauphinoise, and a creamy butternut squash
risotto, although there was an extended wait between courses (no
doubt a launch-night teething problem). But with the wine flowing
like that, we were literally anyone's.
Staggering back over the border into NW5, Mrs Kentishtowner
grabbed the famous Queen's Crescent arch provocatively, showed a
bit of leg and started to sing: 'Maybe this time, I'll be
lucky...Maybe this time I'll win.'
But then her mobile rang. Her dream was over - again.
Words & Pictures: Stephen Emms
Proud Camden Cabaret are offering Kentishtowner readers some
lovely deals. On Wednesday & Thursday there's 33% off the
standard price of £39 (so £26) for 3 courses. Friday
the 1st sitting is £19.50 for 2 courses; 2nd sitting
£39 for 3 courses Saturday 1st sitting £26, 2 courses;
2nd sitting £39 - 3 courses. Book here quoting 'Kentish'